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NEXT STORY

I didn't realise I was privileged

RELATED STORIES

A difficult child with a red silk scarf
Aleksander Smolar Political scientist
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Myślę, że nauczyciele za mną nie przepadali, dlatego że byłem trudnym dzieckiem i odpowiadałem w sposób, który oni z trudnością wytrzymywali, to znaczy nie odpowiadałem jakąś pyskówką, tylko siedziałem, patrzyłem nieruchomym wzrokiem na nich, takim wzrokiem wściekłości, pogardy i po prostu oni nie wytrzymywali tego wzroku mojego, mimo to, że formalnie nie mogli mi niczego zarzucić. To, co dla mnie było istotnym rozdziałem życia, to byłem zawsze w tych organizacjach różnych, to znaczy miałem potrzebę działania i uczestniczenia, wobec tego w harcerstwie byłem. No, oczywiście, to było inne harcerstwo niż skauting. To było czerwone harcerstwo. Pamiętam – chodziłem w takiej czerwonej chuście radzieckiej, to było jedwabne. To było superwyrafinowane jak na standardy polskich chust, które były po prostu z płótna farbowanego. Ja miałem taką cieniutką jedwabną i pamiętam, jak...

[Q] Od ojca?

Skądś z Rosji. Oni mieli... oni mieli sporo kontaktów, więc skądś tam mieli, ale skąd, tego nie wiem. I pamiętam, że jeden z moich kolegów szkolnych – nie przyjaciel w żadnym wypadku – na ulicy zerwał mi ją z szyi, oczywiście jako dowód wrogości ideologicznej. Z tym też się spotykałem, nie tak, żeby często, ale z tym się... z tym się spotykałem.

I don’t think I was too popular with the teachers – I was a difficult child and I responded in a way which they tolerated with difficulty. By that I don’t mean that I talked back at them but I sat there staring at them with a look of contempt and rage and they couldn’t bear that look I gave them even though formally, there was nothing they could accuse me of.

I was – for me this was always a separate chapter of my life – I was always a member of lots of different organisations. I had a need to be involved and to be active so I was in the scouts. Those scouts were different then. It was scouting, Red Scouts I remember, I used to wear a red scarf… a Soviet scarf, it was made of silk. It was super refined compared with the Polish scarves which were made of dyed fabric. I had this very fine silk one and I remember…

[Q] From your father?

From somewhere in Russia. They had a lot of contacts, so they’d got it from somewhere but from where I don’t know. I remember one of my schoolmates – he wasn’t by any means a friend – pulled this scarf off my neck in the street obviously as a sign of ideological enmity. This was also something that I came across, not often but still it happened.

Aleksander Smolar (b. 1940) is a Polish writer, political activist and adviser, vice-president of the Institute for Human Sciences and president of the Stefan Batory Foundation.

Listeners: Vitek Tracz

Vitek Tracz is a London-based entrepreneur who has been involved in science publishing, pharmaceutical information and mobile phone-based navigation.

Tags: teachers, contempt, scarf, silk, schoolmate

Duration: 1 minute, 41 seconds

Date story recorded: September 2017

Date story went live: 09 November 2018